Love don't come cheap

I still remember how I brought up myself from the previous time I failed, I still remember how people saying that I look more beautiful than before. But this time, I still seems like retarded afterall. No one failed me, except for myself. I tried so hard to make myself look better, happier, but it wasn't real. I still feel lonely somehow, I still look up for someone's care pathetically, when I know it wasn't suppose to be like this. I don't need that to move on, when at the end I will just digging the hole deeper and deeper.

I am a very emotional person, always do things without any thinking. I want a lot of support, a lot of positive energy from everyone, some courage maybe. Isn't it obvious that I am bring up myself, a bit slow, a bit retarded maybe, but at least I still trying.

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I am very bad in dealing with guys, I actually prefer they turn out to me first. If you are interested, do let me know, don't put me on try, cause I am definitely the worse player in this game.

I got freaked out, from the past relationships, that promises can't be trust, that "I Love You" can't be trust, that "I Will Try" can't be trust. I wanted it so badly and ends up I lost all my bet. It was a wrong game, with the wrong player, wrong chips.

All I want now is just something easy, really easy, just company, probably two lonesome walks together and be with each other.

Guess I am just too lonely.