Long Time No See

It's been three months I never updated anything in this bloggie. Nothing much have changed in my life, I am still single, still very much available. Party, dramas, troubles, happiness, all these are still going on for the past 3 months.

I feel like something strange going on with people around me, people who are close to me. But I am too retarded to show my care, unless you willing to share.

I am happy for myself, at least I am not as emotionally affected as how I used to be with everything happened around me.

Life still goes on.

All the best for my finals. All the best for my love life. :)

Lost

It was totally a mess, but I think is over now, for my part, at least.

I just have to move on and on

It Still Hurts

I heard it, the sound of my broken heart

I want to cry, all the way out, make myself feel better

But my tears can't find themselves a good reason to shed

It was meant to be broken

My heart, the Love

有感而发

感觉上，会有另一个低气压的氛围发生，做好了心理准备去看待这些事情，不是第一次了

他的前女友告诉他喜欢了另一个人，看见了他眼里的失落，问我该有什么感觉，听出了他心底的痛

她的男友即将要离开，之前的潇洒，之前的洒脱，完全看不见了，看见的，只是一个为爱傻傻在挣扎的女人

看见这些，也想起了自己，欺骗自己，好吗？我不知道

眼见他兴奋地准备迎接新生活，像个傻瓜一样站在旁边，问着，那自己该怎么办？又或者期待他会把自己纳入那新计划中，结果呢？自己把对方当成生命的一部分，对方却把自己看成一个过程，结束了，还会有下一个。还没有懂得怎么把这一部分拿掉，他已经开始了下一个过程，那自己又该怎么办？

她不是笨，我们看见的，她不会看不见，只是不想面对，把那些统统变成盲点，选择相信自己想的，努力，应该就会有好结果，即使看见了太多不可能

把自己逼进角落，认清了所有事情又会是个好结果吗？应该吧，不能爱，选择了恨，结果还只是伤了自己，因为看得开，但放不下，逼着自己把所有真相赤裸裸的摊在自己面前，心痛得无法承受，这样，又会好吗？

“自己把一切给了他，结果换来了什么？”这些，我们都问过自己，但总是忽略不了心底还想再为他做些什么，还想着自己有机会去为他付出什么，这想法，是该压抑，还是该表现?

我本来就不是一个有原则的人，在感情上，我更加不敢大言不惭地说自己一定会怎样，因为终究要面对的，还是自己，当你无法定义什么是爱的时候，你又该怎么找到自己的标准？

Women, they want things in simple, but always tend to turn the situation a lot more complicated to obtain the simplest goal. Women are basically trouble, they love you, they like you, but they can never tell you what they want exactly, cause they don't exactly know what they want. First, maybe they want to make sure that you like/love them, then they want somekind of feeling being assured, then they want for promises, then they want it forever. They want everything, but always forgot what they need.

My Blasting Sunday

It was a nice sunday, wake up very very early. Went to TITI for a one day trip with my dear poppa, momma, ah Bi, Sherry, and uncle and auntie. Had our breakfast there. Sleepie @.@

=Famous kuih in TITI, been on Tv before lerr=

=Birds Fight=

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Then we quickly rush back home in the afternoon, cause we have other plans, hehe.. bao ba zang!!!

Auntie Ivy be our si fu and teach us step my step how to make a niceee ba zang.

=The Ingredients=

=Me concentrating in making the nicest Ba Zang=

=Tasha's piece of art=

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Then rush back to Sunway again after my nicee sunday reunion dinner, and meet up with my frens. They want drink, I don't enjoy it. So I suggest a place we all can have fun. Karaoke!!!!! They drink, I sing, Win-Win rite?

=Danial.CY.Edwin.Stefanie.Me=

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My lil niece just cut all her hair even her eyebrow into botak today, but ah yi was too busy to go visit her today. Hmm... Cant wait to see her, my cute lil fellow.

Thats all for my sunday.

I want to go Zouk this thurs, anyone???

Love don't come cheap

I still remember how I brought up myself from the previous time I failed, I still remember how people saying that I look more beautiful than before. But this time, I still seems like retarded afterall. No one failed me, except for myself. I tried so hard to make myself look better, happier, but it wasn't real. I still feel lonely somehow, I still look up for someone's care pathetically, when I know it wasn't suppose to be like this. I don't need that to move on, when at the end I will just digging the hole deeper and deeper.

I am a very emotional person, always do things without any thinking. I want a lot of support, a lot of positive energy from everyone, some courage maybe. Isn't it obvious that I am bring up myself, a bit slow, a bit retarded maybe, but at least I still trying.

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I am very bad in dealing with guys, I actually prefer they turn out to me first. If you are interested, do let me know, don't put me on try, cause I am definitely the worse player in this game.

I got freaked out, from the past relationships, that promises can't be trust, that "I Love You" can't be trust, that "I Will Try" can't be trust. I wanted it so badly and ends up I lost all my bet. It was a wrong game, with the wrong player, wrong chips.

All I want now is just something easy, really easy, just company, probably two lonesome walks together and be with each other.

Guess I am just too lonely.

I had lots of grumpy these few days, getting emo cause feeling myself unappreciated, but God guide me to this video. Once again, I remember I am so blessed that everyone I loved still besides me.

Thank you, for reminded me once again that I am blessed.

A letter for you

My dear Lil Baby Niece,

I don't know when will you get the chance to see this, maybe 10, maybe 15, or maybe you will not have the chance to see this forever, but still, I wanted to tell you how much you have inspired me.

I want to tell you that you are more than just welcome to the world, especially to the family, at this point of time. After so many things had happened, your presence is more like a miracle, a sign of more hapiness and a sign of peace.

You make me fee brand new, after I have done so wrong in so many things.

You are going to grown up into a very beautiful girl. You will be such a wonderful human being to love and to be loved. But still, you will need to go through a lot of shits that will pull you down, but I know you will deal with it better than I do. I know you will know how to love yourself more than I do. I know you will keep your tears for the one you think is worth, I know you will be loved. And you know we all love you.

My inspiration, My niece.

Hearts

=Ah Yi=

xoxo

Phew

Finally done with my brother's wedding

Congratulations to my dear Dai Lou and Dai Sou. ^^


p/s More photos will be uploaded soon. I am SUPER HOT today!

I Heart Her

I seriously running out of words. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha is all I can say now.

Baby Girl, Un-named. 2.6kg. My Niece.

Ah Yi promise you that I will sayang you to the max, and I bet you too.

=XOXO=

A Long Post

Okay... very well, I haven't been update for like a month. But can't blame me lah, coz my lil blooggiee not popular at all, get no response everytime I wrote something, got bit fed up d lor.

Now I am back again, cause i seriously need money, since i signed up with the Nuffnang thing, see if it could help me top up my bank balance or not lor. HeHe... Friends, tolong support support okk?? Senang senang click into my blog and view view, make the visitor counter up up up.

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Okay, what have I done the past few weeks? (I had a lot of idea what to write moments ago, but now dunno where they all go dy. >.<)

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The weeks before this was a huge mess, I still remember someone told me not to haih haih haih, and my reply was, "Not that I want to haih haih haih, cause there is nothing to let me Ha Ha Ha!" And he claimed that I need a boyfriend, hmmm... I admitted, I want one! *o* hehe.

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Finally, I permed my hair. It turns out to be ok. A lot people say I look better with the new hair. *o*

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Hanging out quite a lot with Aub and CY, as usual, endless topic, non-stop talking even we just meet up not more than 24 hours ago.

Shabu Shabu, Puchong. They don't seems like enjoyed it much. But I still like the place, Hehe...

Thank god they are here, Aubrey who suppose to be a fully committed student, still willing to spend time with me whenever I am bored, and CY who needs to work, stayed up with me till late. XOXO

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30.4.09

Its public holiday tomorrow!!!

A lil shopping retreat yesterday, another 2 pairs of shoes for me, WTF, like 7 pairs in less than 2 months time. And the worse thing is, I still think that I need more. >.<>

I was suppose to just go sing K with ling and yoyo, end up, I bought like 2 pairs of heels and a dress and a hair band and......... forget d lah. After that we don't dare to step in any shop and wanna get rid from that place ASAP.

Feel so badly wanna go for party, purposely stayed up. But it was seriously too jam so we go Neway, yeah, I went sing twice in a day!

We had some great time. Sharon, Kevin, CY, Me.

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What else ahh???

hmmm...

Oh ya.. Currently addicted with a game called Left 4 Dead.

You all should really go try it out, kill all the zombies like how you kill all your troubles. Wooohooo!

Thanks a lot to Edwin for bringing me to CC and teach me patiently, and now I am getting better and better. At least don't get killed that much d. HeHe.

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I still in the mood to go party, but recently all the people kinda getting bored of it. So no chance d, but whatever lah, as long as I don't have to stay at home alone so much, don't get the chance of being emo too much, no party will be damn fine for me. HeHe.. (But if there is still any goes on, bring me along lah, pleaseeee...)

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Oklah.. I am seriously running out of idea d.

But I will keep update. He He... I want my pay! >.<

Please please please and please help!!!!!!!

Good night and good day everyone!

=XOXO=

The sky may be blue

Have you ever check out how big is your sky?

This is what I see afterall

I need some comfort

I am just afraid.

The picture

Days back to KL is not as happening as I expected, there are still some shits that I have to deal with, without knowing what exactly is going on.

Things are getting better, right?

I hope so. :)

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Finally finish my damn mother fucking boring work in INTI

Can't help but get over excited with it. ^^

Got treated with McDonalds on the last day. ^^

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Get to spend time with my old good mates in Cyberjaya, everyone seems great afterall.

Alfred, Naomi, Jo Jo Ann, and their partners.

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Finally got to move into a new place of my own.

Went to IKEA to get my lovely wardrobe and study table

Super handsome Edwin Ang Ang be my kuli. Thank You so much dear. :)

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And of course, club club club.

Went to Zouk, hit it. *0*

Back!!!

Finish my last day of work, FINALLY!!!

It was a good experience, tho it was real bored sometime.

Brought my camera and wanted to take some pictures, but the office and me was too busy and i don't have the time to take pictures with anyone of them.

Whatever lah, I might be going back anyway.

Peeps out there, I am coming back???

Is the party still on?????



p/s Miss Wong Lee Ling, this is a non-emo entry especially for YOU! Do something!!!

Step Back

I thought I need a relationship.

But now why I am afraid?

Afraid of what?

I'm sorry.

Pull back what I said, we still can be friend.

Thanks for caring. Thanks for all the compliments. Thanks for being so supportive to me.

S.O.S

I am not sure with what I have done so wrong.

But she is right, I can't control what people will think of me. I gave them the right to judge on me, so I have to take it when they think I am wrong.

I would like to know where exactly is the problem.

Question with no answers. ><

Washed Away

Me, eventually washed away all the sorrow.

Tears shed, no one sees it.

Told myself, is ok, tommorow may be a worse day.

Shall I wake up for hope? Or more sorrow?

Life is a bitch.

Good Night World.

P/S

I know where is my limit and I know where I am positioning myself.

I may be a bitch, but I am not a slut.

Thanks for showing me the care and the disappointment so directly, I will take the advice.

The Fucked Up Valentines

I seriously thought that it was just a night for fun, nothing much, a bunch of people hang out together, had some good time spend over the valentines happily.

I don't understand why are there so much issues popping up like dramas, we could probably won an award for it, but I was too tired to function my brain to sort out the dramas anymore.

Telling people what I have been through last nite till the morning, cause me myself can't believe what I have seen. That was a rebound, thx to mich, giving me a chance to actually see as an outsider on how crazy and how ugly I am where I used to be.

Using love as an excuse, thought that the love given by myself means everything to everyone. That was me, what i used to be. Now, is Mich, what exactly she is now. Knowing exactly how she feel, but still I feel helpless looking at all her sorrow. I been through all this shits, but it doesnt mean that I know how to help.

The night was a spoilt, from the beginning till the end. Overwhelmed by all those shits that has and has nothing to do with me.

For My Sake

I don’t exactly know what is going on with me at the moment. Things which I think is important is still in a mess, intended to fix it up, but not now, just wanna give myself a lil break. I need no my life to be busy, all I want is just happening, fulfill my time with party and men.

But things always doesn’t seems easy for me, whenever I tend to do something to actually cheer myself up, there is always something minor but meant to be worry turns out. How am I supposed to deal with it? I hate the fact that I have to confront with all this feelings on my own; I hate the fact that I have everyone around me but still feel alone.

Life ain’t easy I know, full of challenges, full of crap, so I want to take an easy way. To stop care, to stop asking why, just take it as what it is, when it comes, I take it, for the good side, and let the bad side as what it is. I am big enough to take all the responsibilities on my own, but I am not strong enough to mend the broken heart, I gave up, so I leave it to anyone who wants to do that for me. Sounds a lot more easier isn’t it?

I hate what I heard last night, I hate my contribution on it.

I am in a dilemma, I know what they are expecting from me, but that’s definitely what I wanted to be. How to make them understand? Now, to live for someone else, or just me, myself? I tried too hard to satisfy everyone around me but myself. A major martyr, where coincidently read something about myself after someone telling me that I am that kind of people. Felt like a loser yelling everyday:” Use me! Use me!” Then all the users turns up and fully utilize me as I offer it to them, so why not? No one to be blame but myself, giving too much of free services where I actually worth more than that.

But now what? When I decided to live on the way I want, someone whom I really care reminds me that they won’t like me to be in that way.

D I L L E M M A

1st And Ever

Chinese New Year coming, I need something new, but out of cash, so get something free here. *o*

Lolz

I am getting better in time, feel weak sometime, but dad give me some touch last night, makes me feels like I am the only one again. Still not too late to found it out, home is really the only place you can go back to whenever you want, I see it in their eyes, THE LOVE.